So last night I had a super long day at work. I went in at 0830 and worked until 8 at night. By the time I left, I was tired, hungry and just not wanting to deal with anything.
I was low on gas so I had to stop on the way home to fill up. The gas pump was not working right and I’m like “Oh fuck, now what!” and I had to go in to see the clerk.
The clerk was a woman in her thirties working inside and she reset the pump and I smiled, thanked her and went back out to pump gas.
As I was finishing up, the woman from the store came out, walked over to me and said “Excuse me” to me as I was finishing up. My first thought was “Christ, now what?” I said, “Hi hun, what’s up?” She said, “I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are!”
I was like stunned…!
She goes on to say, “Your look and style are so totally cool and I just had to tell you!”
I get compliments but, this kind of thing just doesn’t happen to me everyday…lol… so I was a little embarrassed and yes…elated.
I told her that she was so sweet to tell me that and that she absolutely made me smile after a long, hard day. We both smiled and giggled….
The thing I took away from our encounter was that just when you think you are bottoming out and you want to shut down… **SOMETIMES** there is a spark that reignites your spirit. You might not be looking for it and you might not expect it but there it is.
Our lives, our days and our special moments aren’t always things we expect or strive for. They just happen for better or worse and they affect us in ways that are sublime and unrehearsed. Enjoy them!
Toni Grace 🕊
The photo was taken my first day back at work after my breast augmentation surgery.
The cake Im holding was presented to me by my co-workers ….YES THEY HAVE A WONDERFUL SENSE OF HUMOR! LOL!
So today, I’m about six weeks into recovery and I have to say (in a word….) OMG!
I’m totally satisfied with the results and I have to say I feel like a new woman.
My dysphoria is all but gone and I can honestly say that I feel….
For those women considering breast augmentation Ill say this…
It’s no where near as difficult as bottom surgery. The key is: Find an awesome surgeon and know what you want.
The journey continues….BE THE VERY BEST VERSION OF YOU!
In early September 2019, I went in for breast augmentation surgery. I had GCS (gender confirmation surgery) back in 2018 and correcting my top was something I dreamt of for years.
So I went to Women’s and Infants Hospital in Providence RI and I’m in the pre-surgery room getting prepped for my procedure. I had the most wonderful group of female nurses and techs buzzing around me and honestly, we laughed so hard I almost had to change my panty liner!
…and then there was **”the guy”.** The guy is a male nurse and he took my medical history, vitals etc.
So this guy is talking to other staff members about my stats and each time he referred to me he used a male “he” pronoun.
Now mind you, I’m post op so I have a vagina. I also present very fem so there’s no mistaking where I’m at. Additionally, ALL my documents (including the hospital wristband) show my gender as female and I’m in the fucking Women’s and Infants Hospital.
So he misgenders me for like the 5th time (in front of a room full of people) and now I’m getting pissed off.
I called him closer and in the presence of his peers I said to him, “Hey dude, I want you to do me a favor. Once they put me under anesthesia I want you to lift up the sheet covering me and take a peek between my fucking legs”.
I told him that, “Maybe seeing my vagina staring him in the face might help him with his pronoun issues.”
The reaction was perfect! All the other (female) nurses in the room burst out laughing and Mr Nurse Dumbfuck rapidly walked out of the room to be seen no more!
The moral of the story: My discomfort at your hands is NOT my problem. Its YOUR problem and Ill make sure you know it!
BTW….The surgery worked out perfectly! 🦋🏳️🌈🎈
Toni Grace 🦋
So I had GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery) back in Feb 2018. During a follow up visit to my surgeon, I was waiting in an examination room and I spotted this #5 dialator!
Its a joke item … if you can actually dilate your vagina with something this huge god bless because it would split me in two…lol!
Yes, my surgeon has a sense of humor! 🤤
So, Pride Month is coming to a close and the marches, parties and venues will be petering out as life returns to “normal” and many gay and trans people return to their respective closets.
While I adore the visibility, we in the LGBTQ community have gotten over the past 30 days, I feel that what happens next is what really counts.
See, the thing is that Pride month isn’t like Christmas…you don’t just put away all the decorations and end the celebrations until next year when you can dust them off and start the party again.
The importance of celebrating who you are continues throughout the year…whether you are marching with thousands of your sisters and brothers or simply walking out of your home all by your lonesome.
Whether you realize it or not, the transgender community is at a point where the world is beginning to take notice of us. The lesbian and gay community had the Stonewall experience in 1969 and we are having ours now in 2019.
We are making history as I write this! The explosion is taking place partially because we have a president who is demonstrating blatant hatred towards trans people but also because we have unprecedented public support and a better understanding of what we are about.
Keep the momentum going dear ones in the best way possible…which is by living a full and meaningful life as yourself .
In other words, get out there and strut your stuff!
Toni Grace 🏳🌈💋
http://Man who bashed transgender woman at Newtown pub given community service
🥀The Australian judicial system is no friend to the LGBTQ Community.
In a serious assault against a transgender woman that left her badly injured, a sentence of *”COMMUNITY SERVICE”* was imposed on her attacker.
*🥀Here’s the difference between Australia and the U.S…* The pricks that did this in Newtown, AU, received community service which is a total outrage. In Connecticut, where I reside, the sentencing is a bit more appropriate:
BIGOTRY OR BIAS CRIMES
A person commits the first degree crime of intimidation based on bigotry or bias if he maliciously and with intent to intimidate or harass another person because of his actual or perceived race, religion, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, or gender identity or expression causes serious physical injury to that person or a third person. This is a class C felony, punishable by one to 10 years in prison, a fine of up to $10,000, or both (CGS § 53a-181j).
🥀“Gender identity or expression” is defined as a person’s gender-related identity, appearance, or behavior, whether or not it is different from what is traditionally associated with the person’s assigned sex at birth.
🥀So in addition to being “upset” at the assailants’ actions, you should be outraged by the failure of the judicial system in this case. And when you read about trans “bashing”, a term that implies an act of mischief rather than a violent physical assault, pay attention because as a member of the LGBTQ community, you are being de-humanized.
Toni Grace 🕊
Ok, lets see what’s new here in my little world…
So I’m still working as a Patient Rep here in beautiful New England …and its been a blast. Our facility is growing at a phenomenal rate and check THIS out…We now have 840 transgender patients between our three locations!!!
I’ve met some of the most wonderful people here and there isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t interact with a trans woman or man.
We have people come in who are just beginning to transition and starting hrt (EXCITING STUFF!🎈)…trans women prepping for GCS surgery and those like myself, who have been on “the journey” for years.
I can’t begin to say what a wonderful experience its been for me to get to talk to these folks! I’ve gotten to meet trans teens who come in with their parents all right through the spectrum to older trans people who are in retirement. They come from every background under the sun…but there is one thing I’ve noticed that these exquisite people have in common…they all have HOPE.
Hope is contagious. Hope in one person spurs hope in everyone they meet. Its a breath of life and an inspiration to see.
My facility is both innovative and remarkably cutting edge. We sponsor:
Trans Group Therapy
Trans Game Night ….the list is huge.
I recently began a program at the University of Rhode Island for trans women involving voice feminization. (Its my second run though the program…I’m a stubborn case…lol! )
If you are in transition, my advice to you is that you *”get involved”.* While transition is the most personal and individualized life experience I can think of, its best not done in isolation. In fact, in order to be a healthy, functioning and whole person, I firmly believe that we need to experience our growth in general society.
Have a great weekend…stay strong and be you!
Toni Grace 🌻
#transgender #lgbtq #transition
Trump on the Vietnam War:
“I was never a fan of that war, I’ll be honest with you. I thought it was a terrible war. I thought it was very far away,” Trump said. “At that time, nobody had ever heard of the country.”
It seems to me that the men and women who chose to do the honorable thing during the Vietnam War were probably not “fans” of war either. They were aware that it was a “terrible war” (Like all wars…) and yes, it was far away (Not many recent wars have been fought in the New York metro area).
If you need to understand the cowardice, privilege and arrogance of Donald Trump, you have only to listen to his own words.
Toni Grace 🇺🇸🥀
Memorial Day: Parades, barbeques, parties, sales, and all the trimmings. Great. Enjoy yourself, but give a moment to cut past the superfluous rituals and think of the thousands who have died serving this country to protect your freedoms.
It doesn’t mean you celebrate war. It means you are humble enough to be thankful for people who did what they thought was the “right thing” despite the personal cost to themselves.
As a veteran, who happens to be a transgender woman, I’m well aware of the meaning of the concept of sacrifice. My sacrifice was not on par with my sisters and brothers who gave their lives when called, but nevertheless I “get it”.
Pride, loyalty and admiration are earned…not by waving a flag or screaming opinions louder than your detractors. They are earned though quiet, unselfish actions that put momentum behind your beliefs.
Be a hero in your own heart though your courage and steadfastness in your daily life.
Toni Grace 🇺🇸🕊🏳️🌈