A Moment in My Life…🏳️‍🌈💃🏼

So I was having blood drawn at my job today and an “inquisitive” coworker came by and asked, “Hey Toni what’s the blood test for?” I looked at her and in my most sincere and serious voice responded, “Its a pregnancy test hun.”
She did a double take and just kinda looked at me.
The phlebotomists, whom I know, lost it. One laughed so hard she had tears running down her face.
Oh gawd…I’m bad!

Toni Grace💃🏼💋

#transgender #humor #lighten_up

Monday Morning…🌞🕢

So, I know how everyone feels about going to work on Monday.

If you let your self talk wander into the negative zone it can really suck.

No matter what you do for a living, I’m sure most of you deal with people on one level or another and whether you realize it or not, you impact these people and you influence their moods and how they feel. It doesn’t matter if you are a doctor, a police officer or something less glamorous such as a medical receptionist (Which is my current profession)

The author Charles Dickens said it best in a very simple statement that is relative to life in general. Its my mantra when I interact with people every day…

“NO ONE IS USELESS IN THIS WORLD WHO LIGHTENS THE BURDEN OF ANOTHER”

Charles Dickens

🕊🦋🍃

SILENT NO MORE!💪🏳️‍🌈

I speak with transgender people every day. The medical center I work at has 700+ trans clients and a huge number of other members of the wider LGBTQ community. So my face to face interactions are ongoing and numerous…We ALL share the same concerns with regard to the hatred and avarice being generated by the Trump administration since 2016.While talking about how unfair and unjust the political system has been to trans people is cathartic and it feels good to “bitch” about it, it doesn’t really help to change a fucking thing.The attached letter is a response I received from Congressman Joe Courtney, after I voiced my concerns to him.If you are involved in the LGBTQ community (Which hopefully is why you are here!) then you might consider voicing your own “loud and proud” opinion to your own representative.Share your responses on your social media of choice…there’s power in numbers! 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸💪
Toni Grace

FFS……Facial Feminization Surgery

So it was a year and a couple of days since I had my bottom surgery and my transition continues….

During February 2019, I went up to the Boston Medical Center to have some of the “rough edges” of my facial features worked on.

My surgeon, Dr. Jeffrey Spiegel, turns out to be both a skilled surgeon and an skillful artist when it comes to bringing out fem features in women who are either CIS or trans. (Imagine replacing a sculptors chisel with a scalpel and working with skin and bone instead of stone)

So, without all the minutia, suffice it to say…

It hurt.

It was expensive.

…and it helped me tremendously with overcoming my dysphoria and in building my self esteem so it was worth every penny and every moment of discomfort.

Ill be posting more on my own experience in the near future but I wanted to explain my recent absence…I’m still alive and kicking! ⚘🏳️‍🌈🕊

Hugs….Toni Grace

#toni_grace #ffs #transgender #transition

Living in the “Real World”

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Oh yes, we all love glam shots! Cute twenty somethings posing for a camera that just adores them.

But, unless you live in a privileged world that doesn’t involve work, sweat and *REALITY*, that’s just not how it is every minute of the day.

If you are trans and living your life in your gender, then you soon discover the difference between correcting your gender dysphoria and the practicality of living a real and productive life.
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When I have a day off, I have tons of chores to do. Today for example…
*Change the oil in my vehicle (The garage wanted $90 for a synthetic oil change🤤!)
*Laundry
*Pay bills, estrogen injection, shave my legs, cooking…ugh.

So, the last thing I’m going to do is worry about is my shade of lipstick, doing my hair or contouring my makeup.
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My point is that you need to *live* while you transition. That doesn’t mean you should let yourself go to hell and neglect your appearance, just that you should develop a healthy balance in your life.

Roll up those sleeves, put your hair up and lets get goin!💪👱‍♀️🛠
Toni Grace💣

Misgendered at Work

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Misgendered at Work

Oh God…the old familiar dilemma that every trans woman experiences at one time or another.

There are three types of misgendering:
A. Malicious- When people intentionally misgender you as a sort of dig. Its done intentionally with the aim of belittling you.

B. The Slip- This is when good, well meaning people make an innocent mistake. Its not done consciously, it seldom happens and its usually followed by an apology. I’ve done it myself and its embarrassing to everyone involved.

C. The Numbskull- There’s one in almost every work environment. These are the people who simply lack social grace. They usually are those people who stumble through their day in autopilot without much thought. Change freaks them out and they function out of reflex rather than thought.

I work with a great bunch of women….and one numbskull.
Most of my co-workers see me as a valid woman. We interact in a way that any group of women does. We confide in each other, we laugh, we gossip, we cry and we can be catty at times.

Then there’s the numbskull.

She’s a middle aged woman who presents sloppily, has a limited vocabulary, has been married for a century, never misses a break, complains constantly and is generally a sloth.

So this numbskull has misgendered me 15 times in three months. Each time she does it, I correct her. She has done it in front of patients and other co-workers.
When I call her out on it, she has responded in various ways.
One time she said, “Did I say that?”. Another time she tapped her forehead and said, “I don’t know why I keep doing that.”
You get the picture.

So I finally had my fill of this bullshit. I spoke to my supervisor and to the director of our Transgender Health Program (Who happens to be a trans man). I told them what was going on and I said that I just wanted them to be aware of the situation. They offered to intercede and I told them that I handled the matter but that if it happens again I’m going to “Run that fucking flag up the pole” and file a complaint with human resources.

So the numbskull is on thin ice. My employer is very pro transgender and a formal complaint could cost her the job. Be that as it may, I’m done with people who can’t exert the energy to think before they speak. I’m not a fucking doormat and while Ill give a person a chance (In this case 15 chances) I have my limits.

Its up to us as individuals to handle misgendering as we see fit. There are no hard fast rules to what you should tolerate or how you should deal with this hurtful behavior. We all have varying tolerance levels and different personalities as trans women.

After reading this you can see where my head is at.
I’m tolerant but I’m not stupid nor am I willing to sacrifice my dignity for the sake of “keeping the peace” and avoiding conflict.
Wrong girl to take for granted!
Toni Grace✊💣🏳️‍🌈