Have you ever woken up full of hope and the feeling that all is right with your own little world? 🏡


No particular reason for it…it just happens.

You know what I’m saying…it doesn’t happen every day. In fact it doesn’t happen nearly enough, but when it does you want to savor it and make it last forever.

We are certainly complicated creatures and God knows what makes us tick. But try to accept and relish moments like this and most importantly realize when they are happening to you.

These are our islands in a sea of struggle, hopes and fears.
Toni Grace 🏝

Ever wonder why trans women are treated with disrespect in social media and in society as a whole?


Transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Transphobia is defined as “the irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against transgender or transgender people”.
Misogyny is defined as “a hatred of women”. Therefore, transmisogyny includes negative attitudes, hate, and discrimination of transgender or transsexual individuals who fall on the feminine side of the gender spectrum, particularly transgender women.

It is said many trans women experience an additional layer of misogyny in the form of fetishization; Society views trans women in certain ways that sexualize them, such as them transitioning for sexual reasons, or ways where they’re seen as sexually promiscuous.

Transmisogyny is generally understood to be caused by the social belief that men are superior to women.

The existence of trans women is seen as a threat to a “male-centered gender hierarchy, where it is assumed that men are better than women and that masculinity is superior to femininity”.

When you see memes and other posts online depicting people who label themselves as “shemales”, “sissies” or “trannies” , what you are seeing is the fetishization of femininity and women as a whole.

How a human being gets off by being degraded (or degrading someone else) totally eludes me … but yet that low level garbage is pervasive on almost every “Transgender” and “Crossdressing” community on the Internet…not to mention tins of porn sites.

Ill take any bet that the so called “trannies” you see prancing around with panty bulges online are the most closeted and maladjusted  people you will ever meet. They aren’t trans women…they are props for men with a fetish….and nothing more.
Its important to know what words mean.
Toni Grace⚘

Most all transgender people I know have a role model…


Usually its someone we admire and draw strength and encouragement from.

I’ve had the good fortune to not only meet my inspiration, but to have my GRS surgery performed by her.

This video features Dr. Christine Mcginn. She and I have a few similarities… We are both Navy veterans…We both have Alpha personalities…We both have a dark sense of humor…We both struggled with our transition and we are both active trans advocates.


This video touches on the actual surgery but it also gives you a view of of what trans people are capable of achieving in their personal lives.

Meet my inspiration and my friend…Christine McGinn. 🕊

Toni Grace 🌼


…After Gender Confirmation Surgery🦋


If you think that once you have Gender Confirmation Surgery you are done… take it from me, you’ve just begun!
Don’t get me wrong … at least in my opinion, its worth every second but, you should know what the aftercare involves.

Dilation Process (This one is a biggie!👱‍♀️)

At rest, the vaginal walls of all women, cis and trans, lie exposed to one another. Dilation is a necessary process for trans women who lack the constant sloughing and lubrication that accompanies a natal vagina and keeps it from annealing together when at rest. 🛌🏼There is also a tendency of the neovaginal graft to contract. Dilation allows the depth and diameter of the neovagina to remain adequate. 📈

The frequency of dilation recommended  is once 3 times daily, with each of the first 3 sizes, for 15 minutes🕛 at a time for 3 months, then twice daily for 9 months, then once daily thereafter. 🗓


Soooo…..lets do the math, that’s 45 minutes per session, 3x a day…not counting prep time and clean up!🤥 It actually takes me about an hour for each of the three daily sessions. Oh did I mention, it can hurt like hell,😥 bleed and if you don’t do it your vagina will eventually close up. Since its a wound…it will actually heal closed and you will end up with a pee hole🔍that is unsuitable for ANY sexual activity involving penetration🚫

Intercourse is a suitable but imperfect replacement for dilation. Thus, regardless of sexual activity, dilation is recommended. It is also true that after one year, dilation becomes slightly less necessary and many—but not all—patients are able to go to a frequency of less than once per day without losing depth or diameter. Once you have established depth as a recent post-op, mark the dilator and use that permanent marking as a reference point. The dilators also have dots that equate to ½ inch increments up to 9 inches in length (please don’t faint–most depth averages about 6 inches). Girth of the dilators range from 1 ⅛ to 1 ½  in size from small (#1) to large (#4) . In future sessions, these dots can be used as references to assure that depth is maintained.

Dilation continues as a part of your health care regime for the rest of your life along with your estrogen and daily dosages of testosterone*
(The reason post op trans women take a small amount of testosterone is that without it, you can lose your libido and your energy level can decrease dramatically. CIS women produce a small amount of T naturally…we don’t )

The frequency may lesson for the dilation, as time goes by, but the estrogen and T supplement remain a constant. 💉💊🤹🏼‍♀️


Commitment, patience and a strong desire are the prerequisites for successful dilation and healthy healing!
Toni Grace 👱‍♀️

P.S. – The pic of me holding the clear dilator labeled #5 was taken in my surgeons office. There is no size #5 (THANK GOD) … she keeps it as a joke!🦋